i can't drink beer. i can't grow beard.

Thu, 13 Oct 2005 16:37:56 GMT

hi!

I'm whatchu call it.

AND WHEN I COUNT TO TEN, I'LL GIVE THEM A THREE.

Thu, 25 Aug 2005 05:43:29 GMT

i can't think without chapstick.

Wed, 06 Jul 2005 14:58:26 GMT

yesterdayyayay was my birthdayayayt

and guesss what !

i turned 18! and guess what!

my birthday cake was a monster trucjk! the grave digger actually.

yeah and plus...

and plus i got a sweet ramp.

oh and plus. on my way home yesterday from erin's house i saw this guy on a motorcycle. AND GUESS WHAT!
he jumped up onto the back of his motorcycle then he revved it real hard and VROOOOM!! HE DID A WHEELIE WHILE STANDING UP!
i saw it around dead man's curve. that long straight-a-way while going west. man that trick was like KEWLIE. he held that wheelie for like a mileeeee

Sun, 05 Jun 2005 15:10:01 GMT

i had trhis dream where i was drivign around on this big platform in the sky and eeveryone was drivnig around on it and it was awesome. and then i had to drive across this giant sky briddge and i was dirving and there were these crazy motorcyclists and even crazier bicyclists and they were keepoing htere balanace pretty good but weaving. so i did the same but i had a car. and then we had to wait in line at the very end of the bridge but i got out of line and i cut everyone and went up front . i couldnt cut this one stupid girl cuz she was a bitch. then back in my trailer because i was robin from teen titans.. i went back to my trailer and there was this green ghost in my trailer and i totally ignored it cuz i was hungry and i wanted to make a pizza in the middle of the night because i was italian and my name was donatos. and i realized that the only reason i was italian was because the other ninja turtles named me donatos after donatello. (donatello didnt carry on to the next generation of turtles. or so i thought in my dream) i also saw this pizza truck from "dontos" on the sky bridge. but it was just similiar. i didnt want to be the truck anyways. there was also this part where i was hiding in this wierd house on one of the sky bases and it was moving around and sometimes i was sideways and i had to find hiding places and avoid getting caught and killed by the man. i like dreams.

Tue, 10 May 2005 09:45:02 GMT

when i xsaw that i felt like a caterpillar sprayed with Raid. a Cabbage White. sprayed with Raid. i only wanted to kill the wasps back then when i was little. the wasps were eating them, carrying them back to their nest. but the damn thing. the damn spray can and the goddamn Raid. it just sprays over everything and everyone dies. not just the wasps. they just fell down. but the caterpillars.. their green fleshy toes. they held on tight. all the caterpillars were shaking in unison. shaking back and forth, back and forth. screaming. deafening, silent screams. they all died that way too. except for one..

i found its chrysalis hidden under the deck railing.. empty..
i knew it was a good idea to plant the radishes from the grocery store. they grow well when they've already been grownt. i was a smart boy. repay me with your money.

Fri, 04 Feb 2005 01:52:41 GMT

today i had this really sweet fucked up dream and i got to run over two firefighters with my car and kill them while riding a mud slide! and i also got to kill two of my "brothers" with a fire poker. they wanted me to kill them. they wanted to die. they laid down for me to make it easier. and then they told me as i was hitting them in the head. they said "i do not understand."

Mon, 31 Jan 2005 00:23:02 GMT

i like the back of dogs' heads. isn't it funny? heheah

Fri, 14 Jan 2005 04:17:02 GMT

so today i told my mom that i found their condoms when i was looking for christmas presents.

and i also told my mom that i found some more of "their" condoms upstairs in my brother's room this past thanksgiving.

but it turns out that those aren't my parents' condoms, those are my brother's.

so i cried.

when i told her that i found them she said "those are from a long time ago."
well that helps me a lot since she clarified that she has also gone through menopause. and that there's no longer a need for contraception.

all my dad did was play the piano a little bit louder and ignored my talk.
he made sure that i was clear that the condoms in my brother's room were my brother's and not his.

i plan to get money in exchange for being traumatized. it worked before

i got in a fight with my parents and my parents took my clothes off and they threw me out the front door nude and locked me out. i think i was about eight years old.
that didn't help my brain at all. i ended up getting this micromachine set that launched micromachines around a track. the concept was cool, but it didn't work that well. at least parts of it glowed in the dark.

i only asked for 40 bucks from them and an extra 5 more because they told me that those other condoms were my brother's. they didnt have to tell me that.

i got nothing.

Wed, 12 Jan 2005 07:09:38 GMT

what a fucking long entry. it was the adderall. not me

Wed, 12 Jan 2005 07:09:03 GMT

ive got calc, theology, and ap bio finals tomorrow so im taking a break from the heavy studying ive been doing for the past 20 minutes. i had over 12 hours since school ended and ive spent about 7 of them lying in bed. and now i have to pee. i took my medicine cuz i was getting sleepy. ook time for my story.

Cheez-it's + Canada Dry = somewhat remind me of beer.
Cheez-it's + Mountain Dew = definitely remind me of gasoline.

cheez-its are so damn good!

i'm leaning more toward the mountain dew.. i dunno. i guess it's kinda like when your finger smells funny.. but u keep sniffing it? and you can't stop sniffing it? like that. i guess poop could do that. poop smells funny. HELL. IT IS IT. because. because adderall is fucking good and POOP IS FUNNY.

i dont have to pee anymore . i just need to poop! when i get excited, i have to poop. adderall makes me excited. now i have to poop.

i think the exact time my adderall kicked in was when i first typed in CAPS. man. i love you. i love cock.

okay so now for my story. whcih i said i was gonna say before but didnt because i went off on a tangent. without having a point of intersection. so really its just a random line. connected to some arbitrary point that does not exist but probably does because my brain always thinks in a straight line, albeit quite jagged. i dont even know what albeit means (and how did i know how to spell it?). thats twice today that that has happened. i was talking to my mom earlier about how dairy queen should "revamp" their menu. i didnt know what it meant until after i said it. my brain loves maturing its vocabulary one word at a time when i dont even know it.

okay so now for my story. ................................i dont remember what it was about. but i will....

okasy so now for my story

shit i completely forgot. let me try thinking again. this time im really gonna try hard though..

i guess ill just go poop now... i'll remember it later..

YEAH! I FUCKING REMEMBERED IT!!

ok so now for my story

actually the reason i couldnt remember my story was cuz its not a story at all. ok ok now..

SO I joiined the robotics team again this year. BUT. i had some great ideas for this year's robot.
i asked this kid tom if we had team uniforms and i dont think he replied. anyways. i decided that for our team costumes we should all wear big capes and dress up as vampires. and before each bout we should all drink small tubs of goats blood. ALSO. i suggested that instead of building a robot that would stack tetrahedrons and battle the other robots to win points, we should just build our robot to look like and move like a giant vampire bat. and that we should also pour goats blood all over its face before each bout. i think we could win some awards for our robot. such as most creative looking robot. or most team spirit. or most animal-like robot. or most-awesome robot. maybe most bat-like robot. or best team costumes. or most use of actual blood. we would have to win some sort of award because i dont think we would win any points. but we could! just play defensively. yeah . i think it could push things around. last year we won an award and it was our first year. we won some award cuz our team consisted of about one guy and only that one guy showed up for the actual game. i think we won the award because one guy did everything. he was bossy.

anyways i thought the vampire bat was a good idea.
if we dont do that we could always put some police light bars on it. like two or three.
i suggested that too but no one liked the idea. we should at least put some police decals on it. c'mon at least a fricken siren. c'mon....grr

also this girl i saw in the newspaper, carmella decesare, is in court for some assault charge. i duno. i found out she lives in like westlake or soemthing and she was the 2004 playboy playmate of the year. weird. my friend cory said that carmella graduated from an avon lake high school. i just thouhgt it was weird that a playmate resides in westlake.

damn it! i wasted a fucking hour. fucking goddamn.

Tue, 11 Jan 2005 11:36:59 GMT

last night i had this dream about zombies.
i was in this torn up vilage/city place. and there was this timer and i ran out of breath so i couldnt run anymore so i found this well thing and i tied my neck to the rope and i jumped into the well. it was filled with dirty water and gasoline and stuff. it was really dirty. i died. and then i woke up and i did it again. but that time i heard this big roaring noise nearby and it was a zombie on a motorcycle i think. i said to myself "they're getting smarter." so i jumped into the well again. i died. and then i woke up and there was this girl and she was trying to tell me that not everyone was a zombie yet and she was with this guy and i laughed and the zombies took her away and then i showed the guy the well and then we jumped in. the fumes really burned my nose. but it was ok because i drowned after i got under the water.

Sun, 12 Dec 2004 19:34:47 GMT

SaveTheDucks343: hey
IGGY56WC2005: what's up
SaveTheDucks343: i heard your mom did heart surgery on herself
IGGY56WC2005: what?
SaveTheDucks343: yeah

i don't know what i'm thinking right now. but im pretty confused..

Thu, 09 Dec 2004 09:50:12 GMT

holy fucking shit i found chris mcguinness. i wasnt that surprised though. i think i fail. i'm gonna find a way to just be a cyborg.

dear Santra,

i neeed from you . a uh. i dont know. i know i need terabytes. like 5 terabytes. nothing too complicated. um and quite possibly an "X-Buster" of some sort. it's okay if it can't synthesize DNA.
Maybe for next christmas i'll ask for a plasma shot that can shoot through walls. oh oh i definitely want dash boots. maybe ones that can double dash? perhaps even hover for 4 to 5 seconds? sorry sorry. is it okay if i call you Dr. Light from now on?

love DaviD.

Dear Dr. Wily,
HI. my name is David. i think that zero had a good Z-Buster. i think that you should make me one too. i think you made it at least. maybe not since you're dead. i love adderall. how come i have zero's saber? the end.

Love David.

Dear Sigma,
How come you always have one nostril? Hey, remember that one time I used Hadouken and I killed your dog? i bet you cried and cried hahahaha.

You're fun to kill,
Love david.

i think i wasrted like an hour. oops!

Sun, 28 Nov 2004 06:41:49 GMT

electrical tape works just as well. than buying something. i think i'll buy some pvc pipe and try it with that. cold weather is a good thing. i don't want too much of it to melt. pvc would be a good go. cold weather makes it crack off. so many videos. they're ohh so good. i love them. i just need some crap to practice with. like some big rocks. maybe if i jump the fence over by the church i could grab some good ones. too bad rocks break things when i run into them. oh yeah. i guess i should try titanium. or just go the cheaper way and use nail polish.

okay, erin is asleep and talking. i was just asked if i had a lot of trouble in hershey. it's time to mess around!

Me: does the trouble help me in hershey?
Erin: mmhmm!
Me: do i have a lot of trouble with it or do i have a lot of trouble in it?
Erin: either.
Me: erin, when you're in hershey are you in trouble?
Erin: mmhmm
Erin: but muschsady forf eat it in the sucker hemt so mmyunn!
Me: are you gonna eat the sucker?
Erin: mmhmm.
Me: are you gonna put on your shoes?
Erin: do you want me to?
Me: yeah.
Me: is matt the hershey in the hallway?
Erin: mmhmm!
Me: are you gonna drive your tires through the hershey?
Erin: no.
Me: are you gonna share it? there's so much of it.
Erin: yeah.
Me: are you gonna use it to fix your car?
Erin: i'm not sure.
Me: erin, where's your racecar when you're walking the dog? is it jynxt(her cat)?
Erin: mmhmm!
Me: is the hershey in the lake around your leg?
Erin: yeah.
Me: are you gonna make it to halloween, erin?
Erin: uhhumm!
Me: when did the turtle deposit its eggs? behind the chair?
Erin: ...
Me: behind the chair, erin?
Erin: yeah.
Me: erin are you asleep?
Erin: ...
Me: erin are you asleep?
Erin: ...
Me: erin are you asleep?
Erin: no.
Me: erin are you awake?
Erin: yeah.
Me: erin are you sleeping?
Erin: yeah.

now back to whatever i was saying before. okay so as i was saying. titanium screws. lighter. um.. presumably rust-proof. i would think at least. okay so im going to bed.

Fri, 26 Nov 2004 14:12:25 GMT

I ate so much that I vomited yesterday. It was akin to the sugar-coated rock candy stick dipped into the supersaturated sugar solution; except, with the slice of a $25 apple pie and my stomach full of undigested bird meat and stuffing.

I first vomited a little bit in my hand on my way to the stairs. Then I made my way to the toilet. As I lifted the toilet seat cover I made sure not to get any vomit on my shirt & tie/pajama pants outfit (it served me well later on). I let the thick vomit slide off my hand and into the toilet. It tasted awful. I began to wash my hands, but as I did so, my eyes were pulled over my shoulder, as if magnetically, and were fixed unto the contents of the bowl. I proceeded to vomit the whole of my meal. If only my stomach were more like the womb, then I could have swallowed the turkey whole. But that would necessitate my mouth to be more like the elastic vestibule of the vagina.

Fri, 19 Nov 2004 03:24:38 GMT

i think a turtle neck, no tie, a shirt with top button unbuttoned, suspenders, rain/snow boots, chopped bangs that follow my brow line, and absolutely no hair in front of my ears would make me seem unbusinesslike. fuck him

i don't think bobby pins work either.

Tue, 16 Nov 2004 01:55:53 GMT

oh yeah and im kinda curious about anyone who read this but..

Who were you when you were little and played house?

i was always the dog.

Tue, 16 Nov 2004 01:53:19 GMT

oh and i love the way my monster truck smells. i've had it since i was 4 or 5 and it still smells new. it still works too. red camaro with dice on the side and working headlights.

Tue, 16 Nov 2004 01:51:26 GMT

ok ok ok ko kok okso last night i had this awesome dream and i got all this awesome stuff . i won a contest at my school and i got all this sweet stuff. it was so fucking sweet. it was all about knowing stuff from mr skerl's class and climbing snow covered mountains and knowing a lot od stuff about giving birth to babies underwater or something about warm water therapy. i knew more than anyone else in the school and i climbed super high and i didnt even know i was in a contest until about the time i won. and it was so awesome.

i ended up driving back home in a Mercedes CLK GTR. a nice replacement for my echo.

and the other day in my dream i picked up hot shots golf and i had a hole-in-one in my first try. and im on so much addeerall right now so im gonna stop talking because i feel like im gonnna faint. my whole body is empty. im like a balloon. and light too. hard to breathe with so much empty space.

oh yeah i was thinking about buying a halloween crab because they can dig holes! and they're pretty. http://www.easyinsects.co.uk/landcrabs/halloween-crabs/

i dont think im going to. i'd rather have a hermit crab with a chrome shell but i dont think im going to. its probably cuz jon's made me think about them all over again.

Wed, 10 Nov 2004 05:50:24 GMT

I never say anything useful.

Wed, 03 Nov 2004 10:50:48 GMT

i need mroe adderall......... INWEEDDE IN IVIVV. i need more time. time would mke eevyrhing bettter. you know what they say... time's a wastin' when you're not doing the thinking alive anymroe!!! goddamnit.

Thu, 28 Oct 2004 05:54:44 GMT

borderline nightmare. i never want to see a woman eat a dead sea beauty raw like that especially after her baby daughter said that it died because she stuffed it with pills and especially because it look like a cold dead human baby/jellyfish/sea anemone. how crunchy. euugh."it's not dead hunny. ...it tastes sweet." what a fucked up dream. even if i were late for school, why would i ever need to take a row boat from europe? plus that guy was a dumbass and theres no way he couldve fit on a boat no bigger than a cardboard box for a microwave. i cant believe i trusted him before. and why would an echo have outside compartments with no locks? i think everyone who didnt own an echo would figure it out pretty easily. it was so fucking obvious. but it was such a great place to store my cell phone and cookies and chips.

anyway i didnt have any oars.

plus my brothers friends were in my room when i was sleeping and one of them was a crazy and he took everything out of my room and put it in my closet and everyone was in my closet and he took my shower out of the wall and i couldnt shower cuz it was sideways on the ground and he ripped everyhting with electronics apart and he sold it to buy a big r/c car and he put that in my room and he was like "dude, i sold all your stuff to get this sweet car!" and i was like "what the fuck.....(...i wonder how fast it goes...)..." and then i was sitting in an empty room all by myself on a folding chair and then i realized i was late for shcool and then . nothing i said is in chronological order. i dont think it matters much. only the crunchy sea beauties. gross. i just got the shivers from it. it was fucking weird. i wanna have that dream again. yuckies!

Thu, 14 Oct 2004 01:45:15 GMT

i think i am currently at 1219. about 202 back.

Thu, 14 Oct 2004 01:28:16 GMT

if you're ever wondering if i've ever loved you... i've loved you :)

poochie poochie chewy choo choo douchy mooshy loosy mustache

Mon, 04 Oct 2004 03:55:09 GMT

HOW DUMB CAN YOU BE? IT'S NOT HARD TO SPELL TRAGIC.